Friday, October 23, 2009

Overwhelmed mom


Ditambah kisah sedih arwah adik alia yg teraniaya,saya jadi tambah2x takde mood sekarang.Entahlah cepat sangat mood down bila baca cite2x sedih.Lepas tu tengok pulak 'O' show pasal 'Overwhelmed moms'.Huh...lagiklah downnya.

Btw korang ada yg tengok tak issue yang atas tuh kat Oprah?Yang tengok tu sure ada rasa sikit2x terhenti nafas sekejap and cuba breath dengan slow2x.Sebabnya...perkara yang terjadi pada adik cecelia tuh mungkin akan terjadi pada siapa2x aje kan.Bahkan kat M'sia ni pun rasanya ada je kes macam tuh..cuma liputannya taklah meluas mcm kes adik cecelia sbb mak dia diinterbeiu oleh si Oprah.

Pada yang dah tengok show tu,perlu kita fikir2xkan and jugak take action sepermana yang disarankan oleh dr.Norman tuh (bukan norman hakim puan2x yek).Yang terlepas tengok or tak berpeluang tengok saya suka berkongsi kat sini untuk dijadikan panduan buat kita semua.But panjang sikitlah n3 kali ni.

Saya copy from

If nak baca sendiri klik kat sini

Kisah adik cecilia yang meninggal sbb strok haba dalam kereta.

When Brenda woke up on August 23, 2007, she says she knew she had a busy day ahead of her. Summer vacation was coming to a close, and it was the first day back for teachers at her school. That morning, the rush to get out the door was more frantic than usual, she says.

Brenda and her husband, Gary, got their two young daughters, Allison and Cecilia, dressed and ready to go. Then, in a departure from their regular routine, Brenda loaded 2-year-old Cecilia into her car to take her to the babysitter's house.

"I had a dentist appointment, and I asked Brenda to take Cecilia," Gary says. "I normally took both Cecilia and Allison, dropped Cecilia off at the sitter and Allison off at preschool."

With Cecilia sleeping in the backseat, Brenda pulled out of the driveway at about 6 a.m. When she realized it was too early to drop her youngest child off, she decided to run a quick errand. Brenda stopped at the store to buy doughnuts, a treat for the returning teachers.

After loading her car with snacks, she got on the road that led to her school and drove straight there. With her mind racing through all the things she needed to accomplish before teachers arrived, Brenda got right to work. "I had lots of things to set up," she says. "I was nervous and frantic that morning because it was such an important day to get the school year [off] to a great start."

The day began with a staff meeting, followed by lunch. While chatting with new teachers between meetings, Brenda says she talked about her daughters. "My feeling was it was a great first start," she says. "It was going to be a great school year, and it was a great start to the day."

At about 4 p.m., Brenda was in her office, getting ready to head home when all hell broke loose. "A good teacher friend of mine—sometimes I think it was a blessing it was her—was on her way home, and she walked by my car," Brenda says. "She ran into my office and she said, 'Brenda, your baby's in the car.'"
Brenda immediately grabbed her keys and raced to the parking lot. "I knew what I was going to find," she says. "I opened my car door, and I remember hearing the voices around me. Teachers who were close to me [were] screaming."

When she got to her car she found Cecilia in the backseat, still strapped into her car seat. Brenda says she grabbed her daughter out of the car as fast as she could, but she knew it was too late.

"I knew she was gone as soon as I picked her up, I knew," she says. "I remember I took her, and I ran through the parking lot with her, screaming her name. Then, what brought me kind of to consciousness, I guess, was somebody from the cafeteria yelled for me to bring her here."

Brenda says she handed her lifeless daughter to someone who tried to revive her. Then, she retreated to another part of the cafeteria and began to pray. "I heard people yelling for ice, and I sat in a ball and I prayed," she says. "I prayed harder than I've ever prayed in my life. … But I knew she was gone."

Cecilia died of a heatstroke after being left in the car for nearly eight hours. Outside, temperatures had reached 100 degrees.

Sorang komentar yang bercerita ada budak ditinggalkan mati kelaparan dalam rumah sebab parent nak pergi bercuti !

I read this at 21 yrs of age, it changed my life.
A young couple planned a vacation and hired a neighborhood lady to babysit their 8 month old daughter for the week they would be gone. On the morning of their trip the babysitter was late, which had also happened before, and since she was so reliable, they put the baby in her highchair with some dry cereal and left the back door unlocked as they had done before. The young couple then went on to the airport to catch their flight. When they returned a week later, their little girl was dead in her highchair, dehydrated , starved to death. The babysitter never showed up as her Mother had a stroke the night before and she left to care for her, forgetting about her babysitting arrangement. When she did remember, the sitter figured they had hired someone else when she didn't show up.

I read this story with horror...imagining what that poor little child went through till her ultimate demise. I promised myself then, I would always put my children first, phone off the hook at bathtime, never leaving them in the car alone for any reason, never hiring unknown sitters, etc. It paid off...four healthy beautiful kids, eleven fantastic grandkids!!! We live in a busy, hectic world...we need to really slow down and enjoy our kids and our lives. That should ALWAYS be our main priority!

Ini nasihat seorang guru Zen

Norman Fischer, a well-known Zen teacher, says there is an epidemic of overwhelmed people. Because we now have more possibilities, Norman says our expectations have been raised to unattainable heights.

Norman says busy moms should stop trying to reach perfection and focus more on their happiness, attitude and state of mind. "I think that the first thing we've got to do is recognize that especially as mothers, but all of us, our state of mind and our attitude is our most precious gift that we give to each other," he says. "Every day, we ought to wake up and we ought to say: 'How is my state of mind today? Am I losing ground?' If I am, I better address that first because the rest of the stuff I do won't be worth anything if I'm harried and hassled and in a bad mood."

In hopes of finding relief from feeling hassled and harried, Norman believes mothers first need to recognize that they are overwhelmed. Once that moment is realized, he says you need to stop whatever you're doing and take three conscious breaths. The hope is that with each breath you take, you will allow yourself to be more aware of your situation. Norman says this will allow you to focus on the task at hand.

Though our society stresses the importance of being able to handle multiple tasks at one time, Norman says there is no such thing as multitasking. Instead, we switch from one task to another. This switching prevents us from being able to do one task with any intensity or commitment. "Whatever you are doing. Do it. Do it completely. Bring your whole attention to it," Norman says. "Be present in everything that you do."

In order to help prepare yourself for each day, Norman recommends that you take time for yourself. "Take 20, 30 minutes. Get up before your kids early in the morning. Loss of sleep is worth it, if you can have 30 minutes absolute[ly] to yourself, to breathe, return to yourself, digest yesterday's emotions, take stock of yourself and set yourself up for the day," Norman says. "That amount of time saves you time throughout the day."

Norman believes feeling overwhelmed can be remedied by taking care of yourself. "We need to know our own condition. When we see when we are losing ground ... we need to ask for help," he says.

The first person a woman should turn to for help is her husband. "I can't believe the husbands are not the first line of help," Norman says. "I mean, the husbands should be sharing all these burdens exactly equally. It makes no sense to have a husband and not get any good out of him!"

Oprah says husbands are more involved than they were 20 years ago, but the workload certainly isn't equal in most households. "For a lot of women, it hasn't [changed], because women don't know how to ask for help," she says. "Also, [they] think that it's their burden and responsibility to carry it all and do it all."

"When conditions are tough, we don't do well," Norman says. "We need to know that, not be ashamed of it and address it."

Okeh...camne?Tak semestinya article ni untuk puan2x yang bekerja and mother at the same time.Bagi saya yang SAHM ni pun ada gak sindrom overwhelmed nih.So....sama-samalah kita muhasabah diri selalu.Mohon dilindungi daripada segala bala dan malapetaka.Amin.

Jangan lupa...

breath in....

breath out...

breath in....

breath out...



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