Friday, July 17, 2009

What Men Aren't Telling Us

By Chris Abani ( copy and paste from The 'O' Mag)

That women are mysterious and unknowable is something every young man grows up believing. Men, on the other hand, never think of themselves as mysterious or confusing, and we are often at a loss as to why women want to figure us out. But since you asked:

When you say we don't really talk to you or reveal ourselves to you, we wish you knew just how much we have had to suppress about our desires, pains, fears, and vulnerability over the years to conform to the script of masculinity that we are given. Sometimes we don't open up because we are afraid of what we will find. We are also afraid that if you see who we really are, in all our flawed humanity (and not the flaws that annoy you, like being untidy or driving fast), you won't like us.

Men do communicate, often very directly, but women sometimes cannot accept how simple what we have to say is. We seldom play games—we aren't that sophisticated. If we don't call you for a couple of days after a date, it is because either we are afraid you will think we are stalkers (and we will call on day three) or we aren't into you. That's all there is.

We are as nervous as you are about sex; I don't care what you've heard. Your anatomy is a mystery that nobody bothers explaining to us. Even when we think we have mastered one woman's body, every body is different. We feel inadequate if we can't satisfy you in bed, and since no one has told us what to do with feelings of inadequacy, we project them onto you. Sad but true.

We are very insecure about how we look and what you really think about us, and we are excited when you do small, nice things for us like make coffee or come with us to the barber or just buy us a good book. We've been trained never to show this side to you, but it is there.

We are not subtle creatures. You might think that when you play with your hair in our presence, we know that means you like us. We don't know for sure. Men who do are bad men (sorry, guys!). And anything you've been told about playing hard to get is wrong.

We crave cuddling and hand-holding, maybe even more than you do.

We are desperate to please you because we know you are far sexier and more beautiful than you will ever admit to yourself, and we're confused (but extremely happy) as to why you like us.

Here's the thing: You rescue us every day in small, quiet ways, so why not in this way? Let us into your mystery, tell us how you would like to be loved, show us how to see you, really see you.

p/s: borak2x dgn suami semalam,saya kasitau ada suami yang never ask his wife hidangkan air untuknya,En.H jawab 'suami dia tak nak tambah pahala isteri dia la tu' saya ingatkan dia nak cakap 'oklah abg buat sendiri air nanti'.Hehehe...tapi saya terkedulah dgn jawapannya tu.Nak jawab apa lagi......memang betul pun dengan syarat kita ikhlaslah masa dok buat air tu.Kalau tak...penat je la dapat.

1 comment:

Ummu Auni Afif said...

akak, pagi tadi ustaz zahazan ada bagi tazkirah ttg suami kena muhasabah diri, dan ambil hati isteri. ustaz ckp, asyik2 isteri je kana muhasabah, skrg ni suami la pulak :) hikhik

point ustaz ckp
1. suami kena jaga hati isteri, jgn pandai mengaji, pandai pakai serban tapi bini kat rumah tserkesa jiwa rafa

2. suami jgn kedekut dan berkira kalau isteri suka bersedekah. terutamanya sedekah di jalan Allah

3. suami jangan fikirkan diri shj kalau isteri nak rapatkan silaturahim. jgn berkira kalau isteri ajak pergi kenduri kawin kawan dia etc...

hmph, itu baru 3. ustaz sambung dlm kuliah subuh isnin depan :)